househunting, i mean townhouse hunting

well, for the last 3 days travis and i have been driving around the greater western portland area. (not the best thing to do with gas prices, but it was worth the gas!) i feel like we have been down every street and now we have a feel for the different areas and how much bang for the buck. houses are out. first we were hoping for a 3 bedroom with a yard. now we are just hoping for a 2 bedroom with a garage...could we do a 1 bedroom? i don't think so. could we do without a garage? could we really do a condo? whew. travis and i are totally on the same page when it comes to what areas we like and what we could live with, so that makes life a little easier. we are meeting with a realtor this friday for her to show us some properities. i'm excited and anxious...and friday couldn't come soon enough! who knows, we could end up renting for a few more years. only time will tell!

bird's eye view

travis gets to see some pretty amazing stuff out his window flying!




canadian rockies departing from Calgary, Alberta



on the right you can see the steam coming out of mount st. helens



Cascades coming into portland



mt shasta in northern california

hiking

mirror lake hike by mt hood. this place is beautiful!

laguna beach

a cuban cigar roller right there rolling our cigars.



a four course meal.




a painter painting the scene.






let's just say i went to a very extravagant wedding this past weekend in laguna beach...for one of our college friends. it was amazing. the bride use to be an event planner and she knew how to throw a party (and her dad's pocketbook helped, too!)we danced like we were back in college. the band was very good. they played everything from jazz to hip-hop...so much fun!

the cigars were my favorite.



(at the rehearsal dinner)

oh, and we flew on the "disneyland flight"....evidently this is the closest airport to disneyland, so there were kids surrounding us. when we took off, all of the kids cheered. it was the most exciting take off i've ever experienced!

training is over!

yippeeee! travis finished training today....wahoooo!!! he has a few days off before he starts flying next week.

training costs...

just got word of this article in minneapolis and i'm sooooo glad that it doesn't effect travis. (because the timing was perfect from his new hire date and his furlough date...whew!)

i didn't realize moss was so cool!

over the last week since i haven't been blogging...

i went on an amazing hike in nw portland...at national forest park
had a relaxing weekend
enjoyed evergreen for easter
met a new friend, liz, from the twin cities
tried out 2 new coffee shops

well, that's the short of it all...and here's the long...

i cannot believe that you can be in the middle of urban coolness and then within just a few blocks walk into an amazing dense forest complete with a beautiful stream and moss all over the trees (moss has become my new infatuation). it was breath-taking. i just couldn't believe my eyes. this is what oregon is all about. i can't wait to go camping and explore more trails! this picture doesn't begin to describe what it was like!

on easter, i went back to evergreen. i met more people this time and i think that travis and i could really feel at home here. it just seems like a great community. i really like the people. i also love that they have prayers stations and it seems like from the forum, that they are wanting to do even more with the art and stations...which i have really missed from oneplace. i would like to check out a home group and meet some people.

today, i hung out with liz...it was so much fun. we talked about tv shows and painting and taking art classes at PSU. it was inspiring. i love meeting other artists! and great to meet new people here. i've only been here a few months, haven't even been connected in a church, but i'm still meeting people that will be so fun to hang out with. yipppeee!

the weather has been beautiful lately. i've been taking little breaks from work to take a walk and enjoy the weather. work is still a little crazy, but good....really good.

waterdeep

i hit the first album on my ipod and my old water deep/enter the worship circle cd came up (and if this is the only waterdeep cd you have ever heard, you are missing out...their music has so much depth.) i haven't listened to this cd since college...but i'm playing it right now as i'm working and i forgot how good the lyrics are...


"...you have redeemed my soul, from the pit of empitness. you have redeemed my soul from death....

...tender mercy, you forgive me. slow to anger, quick to love....

...praise the lord, oh my soul, and my deepest parts...

and all the pain i am carrying inside. i will hand it to you. you will take it, set me free, i will fly...."

flying

i'm so happy for my husband. i'm so glad that he is so passionate about his job and that he loves to fly. (right now he is watching flight videos on the internet...where he watches landings and such...i have to admit i don't get it, but it makes me smile!) a few weeks ago we went to the hanger where they work on the airplanes and i was able to take a tour of the plane he will be flying. i even sat in the cockpit. as i sat there and looked out the window, i imagined being up in the clouds and having that front row seat...it must be amazing! i sat there for a while and asked "what's that...how does that work...what does that do..." the cockpit is much roomier than i expected...lumbar support and even a foot rest. (don't worry they won't get too comfortable.)

i'm so proud of travis.

love and living

"life consists in learning to live on one's own, spontaneous, freewheeling: to do this one must recognize what is one's own--be familiar and at home with oneself. this means basically learning who one is, and learning what one has to offer to the contemporary world, and then learning how to make that offering valid."

--thomas merton "love and living"

with ryan's comments on rachael's blog, i had to check out thomas merton. i've always loved the mystic writers.

and as i opened this book, the words penetrated my heart. his words are potent and they are beautiful.

stumptown coffee

well, ben was right. stumptown coffee is wonderful! i love the french press stuff!...and $1 bottomless cup? how can you beat that. i will be going back! the place was loud with white walls, which are two things i don't normally have on my list for coffee shops. but surprisingly, i liked it. art like this lined the walls. i liked the atmosphere, the music, the coffee, and the wifi. i have found a new friend. and it was in another cool area...33rd and belmont...how many cool streets can there be??? it is beautiful out today. so, i'm glad i was able to soak it up...working at stumptown and i squeezed in a quick walk by the river by our apartment.

i spoke a little too soon about work not being spastic...i'm drowning in design work...but this is just the nature of the beast. it all seems to come in at the same time...so this week i might be pulling a few late nights, but i'll welcome those late nights with open arms. in a weird twisted way, i'll enjoy it.

another update...

this past week i tried out 2 new coffee shops (i still haven't found the perfect one, yet.) and a fabulous french cafe in northwest 23rd. (with my new friend, leslie) i am so thankful for her friendship. it has been so fun having someone to explore and share this moving thing with. and also to have another person who's husband is a pilot. ahhh! it is a good feeling and it has made this abrupt move much easier.

things are good. and things are hard at the same time. i'm ready to be settled...and to find a church...and to know the city better...and to have a house. but those things take time and that's okay.

travis and i went driving around beaverton this weekend. we found a cool townhouse that we liked. i think i'm okay with beaverton. with the maxx line there,i can get to downtown portland very easy...and that makes me feel a little better about being a suburbian.

work has been busy. i'm starting to get in a routine and my work schedule isn't as crazy and spastic as it has been before. it feels good. i think i'm realizing as much as i love to be a free spirit, i need structure and a schedule to function. and i've given in...but hopefully i'm just creating a framework for that free spirit to thrive. : ) at least i hope...because i would love to make time for painting and jewelry making and just time be creative.

angeles

I was in a coffee shop yesterday working and was reminded of one of my favorite artist i haven't listened to in a while...Elliott Smith. of course, i was like everyone else who found him in the soundtrack of Good Will Hunting, one of my favorite movies.

so, i came home to get some songs from itunes...and he is from portland!! wahooo!! his whispering voice is great, his strumming is great...i will be listening to either/or constantly.

time for the sim

travis has finished ground school in portland and has 4 weeks in the simulator in seattle. (for most of the week i'll be travless. he'll have 4 days on, 3 days off...so he'll be home part of every week. it will feel a little more like our life in mlps. i'm glad that he doesn't have to be in seattle the full month!)

we're hoping after he finishes his last 4 weeks of training we can go hard core into house hunting mode. i'm ready!! i have to admit that i had my heart set on buying a house in SE mlps and i'm sad that didn't happen. suburbs of portland, here we come! (although i'm still holding onto my dream of living in a neighborhood in the heart of the city...we'll see what a realtor says!)

this week work will be a little crazy. i just have a lot of deadline, but i'm so thankful that projects keep coming!

i went to the bridge again this morning. great community. this morning all three of the pastors spoke. they were great. i loved what deborah had to say...about not being constipated with God's love...not being a wall, absorbing it, but a window, letting it shine through. it was good and she spoke with such a gentle, passionate spirit.

that is something i've been thinking about lately...being filled up with God's spirit, so that i can let it overflow to others...rather than needing to get from others, i can give. i can love and listen and help the people around me, rather than expecting them to meet my needs. i've been trying to allow more time for me to receive God's spirit...creatively, emotionally, spiritually. so that i am not empty, but full and alive.

portland downtown

community: the buzz word of the emerging

well, i've been to 5 churches so far (evergreen, imago dei, the bridge, vibrant, and ethnos) i'm amazed that there are so many great emerging churches in portland. and i feel like each one of these churches have their own personality, which i like. all the churches are under 150 on sunday, with the exception of imago dei.

all of them have an emphasis on community (and i'm curious how that plays out in the church...is it just one of their values or do they really have community?)

i would love to go other things at these churches to see what it is like. because sunday just doesn't tell me enough. is their service really a reflection of their community or just a reflection of the leaders?

i have to say that going to the bridge yesterday challenged me so much. i think the reason that i value community so much in churches is because i long for deep relationships and it seems that with each place travis and i move, our church becomes our family in some way. i also think that community is a huge way God speaks into my life and challenges me.

i've been a part of countless discussion on what community means, the challenges of it, why we need it, but i have to say i learned something about community yesterday at the bridge, simply by being there. i saw community in a different way than i have seen community before.

i say that i want diversity and want to be around people that think differently than i do. and i think i do, but how far am i really willing to go. i say that i want to be a part of church that truly embodies social justice...not just "reaching out" but being in relationship with the "needy". and that's what i saw at the bridge. they had free food to hand out, clothes to hand out...and people attending the service actually needed those things. (i'm use to those kinds of things taking place some other time, not during church, god forbid) ...do i really want to be friends with people i'm not sure how to connect with? would i rather go out and "serve" these people and then go back to my happy little community to have my friends? do i really want to live among the needy? (and can i see them for who they are and not just label them as needy) do i really want to be in community with people that aren't like me? it's given me a lot to think about. it makes me think about how God intended community and what my part is.

the bridge

this morning i checked out the bridge. all i have to say is wow. my heart was filled with joy. this is probably the most eclectic church that i've ever been to and i loved that. they have a heart for the people in portland and it is very evident. i'll just let you read this article that explains a little bit about who they are. they didn't say things that made me cringe. all of their music is written by the artists (and the music is so damn cool)

people were playing the drums in the front row and i just wanted to join them. people were standing up on the sides dancing and clapping to the beat...i wanted to join them, too.

i feel like it was a combination of the free spirit of bridgeway (trav & i's first church) the musical passion of oneplace, and the organicness of solomon's porch....all rolled up into one. i can't think of anything else that makes my heart smile.

they had a special dance this sunday where a couple of kids did this hip-hop routine....very, very cool.

i met a few people and had the chance to talk to them. i really like what i see. i would love to go to a couple other things here.

(okay i'm outside of a coffee shop right now and someone just walked by with headphones singing really loud...i love this town!)

i'm going to another church tonight and i would also like to check out evergreen again...the church hopping continues!

here are the lyrics to one of the songs we sang...the song was great...


EVEN WHEN ITS LIKE A SEVERED ANTENNA
A LOOSE CONNECTION
THIS WON'T FIT ANY DICTIONARY
TEXTBOOK DEFINITION

CAUSE WHAT I FIND IN YOU CAN'T BE DEFINED
WHAT I FIND IN YOU CAN'T BE DEFINED

YOU CAN CHANGE MY MIND
YOU CAN CHANGE MY MIND

SOMETHING SOMETHING TELLS ME
I'M GONNA LET YOU GET TO ME

beloved fight club

that's right, the author of fight club wrote a book about portland. it's a very interesting book (how could it not be from this author?!) it is vulgar, but that also comes with this author, too. (but don't say i didn't warn you.)

it is cool to think that the guy that dreamed up fight club lives right here in portland.

"every corner tells a story." there is so much history here. i guess it is the oldest city on the west coast.

the book covers it all, from the vocabulary of portland, to the haunted buildings, to the rumors. he lays it all out. the things in this book you won't find in an official history book on portland. he also gives you some great shops, museums, and restaurants to check out.

someone created a self-cleaning house that has tilted floors (so the water can be drained after the sprinklers clean it) and waterproof art on the walls. supposedly you can take a tour. i could go on and on with little tidbits from the book...but i'll let you take a look at your local bookseller!

(oh, and btw, blink was an excellent book and highly recommend it. it really makes you think!...no pun intended)

what i've been up to lately

once again, we had our "friday night spades" i guess we'll have to find another night for it when travis starts flying and his trips are over the weekend.

saturday night we went to the northwest 23rd and ate at typhoon and then stopped by alotto gelato....yummmieee! i don't think i could ever get tired of this area!

sunday i went to a new coffee shop on broadway and about NE 10th (i think). a great neighborhood coffee house. it was beautiful outside, so i sat outside and enjoyed the weather.

i also walked around in the pearl distrinct...it was great. here are some pictures. the area is a very cool. i only went to a few shops...so much more to explore in this area.



i finally stopped in the famous powell's city of books, the largest independent bookstore. wow! it was amazing. i think i'll be going there often. it is much better than a b&n or borders. there are sooo many books. it takes up a block and i think it is 4 floors. each room has its own color with a map...i only made it to the purple and orange room. i love bookstores!

i went to ethnos community sunday night. it was a great church (and it meets at night...after four years of church meeting at night, i'm finding it might be difficult to switch to morning!) i think i'll take another post to talk about all the things swimming in my head about church right now.

today i drove around with a friend of lauren's who might be moving to portland. we ate at noahs on nw 23rd. the place was an utter disgrace to nw portland. i guess i should try out a place before i take someone who is checking out the city to move here! we had fun talking, though. we drove around to the different areas of portland. i was able to explore a little more of the neighborhoods in ne and se that might be potential for us. we also drove around the west side.

here's a picture of the west side neighborhoods...they are beautiful.

snowin' n mowin'

well, today it snowed. it was a rather wet snow, but it was snow. and it made me happy. it would rain for a little while. stop. snow. then rain some more. i watched this out the window as i tried to work. and then this afternoon (during the raining and snowing i might add) the maintenance guys in our apartment were mowing and trimming the bushes. i guess nothing stops their weekly routine.

i don't really like to talk about the weather. it seems so surfacy...like there isn't anything else to talk about. but weather is exciting, especially after being in weatherless phoenix for 3 years. clouds are even exciting.

mount st helens

on a clear day. you can see mount st. helens. here it is from mount tabor park.

mt tabor and hawthorne

here are some cool pictures of of mount tabor and the hawthorne district on nikki & ben's blog.

i need a raincoat

today i went on a walk by the river close to our apartment. i had on the only thing that i own that resembles a raincoat; a windbreaker. and it doesn't cut it. i think i'm going to have to go get me a raincoat, so i can take daily walks or bikerides no matter what the weather is doing. do they even make trendy raincoats? i've been on the look out, but haven't found anything that i want to be a perminent fixture on my body.

travis' training is going well. he is now learning all about his plane, the CRJ 700. apparently this plane is pretty supped up...lots of little gadgets to learn about. in two weeks he will go to seattle to fly in the simulator. (right now he is just going through computer tutorials about the plane.) i think i might go up to seattle with him and work from there, at least for a few days. i have to make the most of my portable job!

the power of thinking without thinking

i've been wanting to read the book "blink" since last summer...and i was on the hold list at the minneapolis library until right before i left...i should have just bought the dang book, but i checked it out at the library here. it is a great book. i mean a really good book. i'm about half-way through, so i'll let you know how it turns out. (usually i love the beginning of books and then they just fall apart and i lose interest...we'll see)

it's been great reading weather lately...rainy! : )

neighborhoods, couches, and hikes

in my quest to find a cool, yet affordable (ha!) neighborhood, i explored some of the west neighborhoods of portland and the suburb of beaverton on friday. the west side is very hilly with lots of winding roads. i think i could be happy with a house in any of the west neighborhoods, even if it has to be in a suburb! (i think my dream of living in the heart of the city is only a dream in this city. but my search isn't over to find a spot as close to the heart of portland as possible...with more than 500 square feet!)

today we bought a couch...so exciting! and then we went hiking at mount tabor in se portland. this is a great spot. it was a beatiful sunny day and we had to get out and enjoy it.

what are the odds?

what are the odds that our last sunday at the porch there would be a reporter who takes our picture and happens to mention we will be moving to portland...and a couple, nikki and ben, read that article and they, too, are moving from mlps to portland...and we end up meeting for coffee this week...have great conversations about community, churches, and life in a new city...but it doesn't stop there....someone else (tricia and brian), find ben's blog and set up a time to get together. while i'm meeting with nikki and ben at a coffee shop, tricia and brian randomly walk by. They recognizing them from a picture and come in to meet us...so, we all end up going to hang out tonight. wow.

we went to le happy for crepes. (any place called le happy has to be good.) it was a cute little place and it was really fun getting to know my new portland friends. after that we walked around in the pearl district for first thursdays. (where art galleries were opened up on the first thursday of the month.) there was some great stuff, although i wish the galleries were closer together like they are for the first fridays in phoenix. it seems to create more of a vibe when they are more condensed. i would like to see the hawthorne district here have a first thursdays...now that would be cool.

now, brian's been here two years and he seems to know everyone. so it was cool to see how connected you could be in this small city. i really liked it.

so, travis has been busy studying and kobie has been exploring the city.

a word of warning...if you are reading this blog to just get a quick update on the life of kobie and travis, read no further...come again another day...because what lies ahead is just a bunch of ramblings thoughts!

i feel like i have been able to experienced so much of the city in such a short period of time...and there's so much more to discover and enjoy. that is the part that excites me. i'm so glad that i've been able to hang out with people and not just work at my computer in isolation in a new place. but i have to say i feel a little numb. maybe it is from all the moving. maybe it is being emotionally exhausted in hoping that mlps was our home and moving 8 months later. (and i think that has caused me to be afraid to hope, afraid to plant some roots here.) one moment i feel courageous and ready to conquer the world (at least the world of portland) another minute i'm overwhelmed at buying our first house.

but how can i feel a little numb and also feel more alive than i have felt in a long time? maybe i'm just numb to moving. i don't know...i don't see it as an adventure anymore, but this is where i am and i better start making my home here. i want to be present where i am. i learned that in minneapolis, to really soak up every moment. (and i just can't quit talking about minneapolis. it was such a great 8 months for me. it was so refreshing not having any responsibilities at church, to have time for relationships, to enjoy the outdoors...i feel i grew so much in such a short period of time. i felt alive.

and this city gives me the same feeling. (feelings aren't everything, but they hold a lot of weight in my book.) i feel this city is full of freedom. i don't feel a need to be anyone but myself. i feel like the last four years have been a question of who i am created to be...maybe i'll never figure that out and maybe i'll be someone different along the way. i feel like i have experienced so much and grown so much as a person...and i hope that true freedom is expressed in my life. i seem to struggle with this. like i have this ball of fire inside of me just bursting to come out...but at the same time, i'm feeling a little self-absorbed. i'm dying to find a way to serve in the community and i would prefer it not be in the church. i would love to volunteer somewhere. somewhere i can help people. not somewhere i can volunteer my design skills, but somewhere i can help people, somehow. not sure what that place will be...but i want to have my eyes open to God moving around me.

no commuting!!

travis will be based in portland right away!!!!! wahoooo!! (rumor had it that travis would be based in denver after training for at least a few months and then be based in portland after that.)

no commuting for travis! no "crash pad" in denver! no leaving a day before he has to work so he can get there. yipppppeeeeee!!!

we are so excited!

oh, and some interesting things about oregon:
no sales tax (that will come in really handy when we buy our couch!)
it is illegal to fill your own car up with gas

i love portland!

the more i see of portland, the more i fall in love with this city.

travis and i went and ate at bridgeport ale house in the hawthorne district this weekend. i love this area! walking down hawthorne made me want to come back and just hang out there and go in every shop.

yesterday i drove around se 20th and division and found some really cool neighborhoods. (my mission over the next few months is to find a house, or at least find areas that I want to buy a house in. we are hoping...fingers crossed...that we will be able to buy one in the next 6 months) and i just keep seeing neighborhoods that have so much character and charm, with cool shops on the corners. it reminds me a lot of south minneapolis.

last night i went to image dei. not sure that is where we'll be, but the pastor said something really cool...we were talking on romans 8 and the whole "God works everything for good." i have long been a huge advocate that "not everything works out." and he said it beautifully. God isn't saying that things will all work out and be fine and perfect in our life...but God is saying he uses those situations, those sufferings to "grow the life of Jesus inside you." you may call this working out, but i don't. because working out denies the pain and suffering that people go through, it simplifies things too much...unfortunately God doesn't just make things easy for us, but he will work in the situations. i think that is pretty cool and gives me far more hope than "it will work out."

and onto the other exploring...

today i went looking for a sofa (we donated our couch before we moved out here and we only have a chair in our living room.) so, there was another excuse to explore. i stopped at a coffee shop to work for a little while at the portland coffee house. driving to that area was great...once again, treasures on every corner.)

picked up my first set of books from the library. (i love the library system in every city. so far, i'm impressed with the variety of books they have. i picked up god's politics, the new anne lamont book, and a book about portland neighborhoods.)

and now i better get back to work...so much to do, but all i want to do is explore!!!

McMenamins

Last night we went to kennedy school, a McMenamins pub. (kennedy school was a boarding school built in 1915 which has been restored and turned into a hotel & pub.)

It was very strange walking in. I felt like I was going to a play or I was back in high school or something. But you walk into the different rooms and there are restaurants and pubs. We hung out in the "honors room" (i think), played cards, and I tried a beer from the brewery there...the ruby. once again, i was not disapointed. travis and i have started friday night spades with the couple in our apartment complex. (for 2 weeks now.) and it has been a lot of fun. I'm excited to go back to the Kennedy School in the summer. they have a great courtyard restaurant that will be a great place to hang out.




this artist displayed her work in the hallways. I'm not normally a fan of mosaics, but i thought hers were very interesting.

i'm not for sure of the story, but it seems like the artist took letters from students at the boarding school and put them in her collage/mosaics. this one is from 1935.

here is the poem that was in it:

there was a young fellow named hall
he fell in the spring in the fall
it would be a sad thing
if he died in the spring
but he didn't he died in the fall

(the poem made me laugh!)

well, i'm hoping that i can tear travis away from the books and we can go hike around mount tabor, a park in SE portland.

and my next area to explore: the hawthorne district. I've driven through and gazed at all the boutiques and cafes, but I'm hoping to walk around and explore the area.

I'm also hoping to get the public transportation down. they (i guess it is now we, i am part of this city now!) have a light rail that goes from the airport, close to our place to downtown and other areas of the city. there is also the street car you can take around downtown, the pearl district, and the northwest district.

stay tuned...

northwest district

i just got back from exploring the northwest district (it is northwest of downtown, clever name, huh?...i guess that is better than uptown in minneapolis which is actually "down" from downtown...)

i went with my new portland friend, (my friend who's husband is also in training with travis)...it is great to have someone to explore with. we had so much fun. we ate at a great restaurant and walked around to the cool boutiques...and then we had some gelato...my favorite! It has been really sunny here (we aren't getting a true taste of portland)

travis has been studying like mad this past week. he has a lot to memorize...all those regulations and whatever else. hopefully we'll have a little bit of time to go exploring this weekend.

thinking, thinking

evergreen blogs

thanks to bob at evergreen, i found this site that puts all the posts from the evergreen bloggers on one page. thought this was cool.

so, i keep thinking about this whole church thing...

i have to say the most important thing to me in a church is community, because that is how i will build relationships, see God, and be challenged. i loved so much about the porch and oneplace, but the community is what stays with me, that is what helped me see more of God and have new perspectives about the world around me. I want relationships in my life, not programs or ministries.

old nob hill pharmacy cafe'

right now i'm in the "uptown" of portland at a coffee shop that use to be an old pharmacy. it is cool, but not quite the place i want to be a regular at. i'm just beginning my search for some cool coffee shops to work in. (i've decided i'm going to start "going to work" and take my office different places...it is a good excuse to get to know the city.) work keeps coming in, which is good. i'm not overloaded like i was a few weeks ago, but things are coming in.

on another note, i heard that imago dei has 1300-1400 people in their 3 services on sunday. i'm beginning to wonder how a church that big could have true community. i guess i'm filled with doubt that God could work in such a big community. isn't that horrible? i know that is not logical, but i question motives and wonder if those 1300 people are involved and truly a part or are just coming on sunday to be a part of a cool church. if you can't tell, i kinda' have a bad attitude about big churches. maybe this will change my mind.

the church thing...

thank you for tuning into the my weekly church synopsis

yesterday i tried out two churches. yes, i know. it is ridiculous. i went to evergreen in the morning and imago dei in the evening. both are emerging communities, which i loved. they both were great.

i'm not big on church hopping. i'm of the conviction that you need to find a church you feel comfortable with and stop trying to find something that will meet your every need...because that is not what the church is there for.

but at the same time, i want to find a place that i can call home....which takes trying out different places to see what is a good fit.

both seemed to have community at their focus and both seemed to have a diverse age group...two things that are very important to me...i don't decide on a church based on the pastor or the worship. sure both are important, but they don't make up the entire community.

evergreen
met at lucky lab pub
was about a group of 60 or so
had great acoustic music....they played in-between parts of the sermon (the sermon seemed to last the whole 1:30 with music at different parts...hmmm)
the sermon was more of a discussion...i liked that there was so much audience participation throughout
the people i met were very welcoming

imago dei
met in an old church and are looking for another place
they have three services and each one has at least 200-300 people...if not more. that is a little big for me, but it seems like there are plenty of ways to find community in "connection groups" or "home communities"
i didn't get to meet too many people, but the people i met were great
had a violin with their band (wahoo!)
sang some old hymnes mixed in with their other songs, which was absolutely wonderful

the service isn't everything...so, i don't like to judge the church based on their weekly meeting...but i do think it is a window into what the church is about and what they care about.

i saw that imago dei, even though it is huge, allows things to rise up from people in the community. (if someone has a heart for something, they can start it.) things don't start by the pastor deciding what would be "best" for the church.

i saw at evergreen that they don't pressure their community to volunteer for things..."if people volunteer, then we have a children's ministry, if they don't, then we won't." it seems to allow the community to take ownership.

going to imago last night was really good for me.
my soul needed it. it was good to hear the violin as i sang a hymn that always brings tears to my eyes. it was good to hear from an artist. it was good to hear about being filled with God's love. it was good hearing the music unique to this community.

i think that imago dei is a good fit for us...but we'll see. i think i'll go to a few things and see what i think.

cable

we have cable. yep. i know, i can't believe it. the only reason we have it is because our internet was so freakin' expensive and it was only 10 bucks extra for cable (for the next three months)...so, here's to hgtv, the history and discovery channel, mtv, vh1, and multiple pbs stations! that is what i'll be watching....and i promise i won't sit in front of the tube all day.

a new chapter begins

We are in portland!!! Here's the view close to our apartment of mt. hood...skiing year round anyone? : ) this place is beautiful. we are so excited to be here. we are starting to get settled in...but there are boxes everywhere.

right now i feel like i have so much to write about, but here is what has been going on this week:

the drive was AMAZING. it was refreshing, entertaining, and literally a worship experience for me. it was so breathtaking. going through montana, idaho, washington and oregon was incredible. i had plenty of podcasts and music on my ipod to keep me entertained for the 28 hour drive...but it did not feel like that long with the amazing scenery. my favorite part was going along the columbia river in oregon...and that is just hours from us. i think we will be going there often to ski, camp, and who knows, i might even go fishing with travis. (he has decided that is something he wants to take up again.)

we made it into oregon about 2pm on monday and unpacked the truck, which took forever. (especially compared to all the help we had packing the truck on saturday...thanks to erik, jill, eric, phillip, heather, luke, taylor, bob, and titus!)

last night we went out with one of travis' flight buddies and his wife. we went to a micro-brewery in northwest portland. i love that whole area just north of downtown. it is very cool. there are so many boutiques and restaurants to explore. the microbrewery we went to was great...i've heard that portland is famous for their beer and i have to say what i got was pretty spectacular. i guess i'll have to become a beer connoisseur here! our friends live in the same apartment complex and it is so nice already having friends here.

tomorrow travis starts training...and i will try to work and unpack at the same time!

that's it for now...

and we're off

we're packed and the weather looks like it will be good for our journey. (the only reason i know this is because of "careful carolyn"--my mother. she's a little worried that we are going to be stranded in a horrible snow storm. hopefully that won't happen.)

All we have to do is pick up the truck tomorrow morning, get it loaded and we'll be off.

please pray for traveling mercies as we drive 28 hours the next few days!

enjoying the snow...from the window

it started snowing again yesterday!!! yippeee!! here is the view from my "office" window. (it is really just the corner of our living room. notice the boxes that surrond me.) it was great to be able to look at the snow and finish up my deadline.

and yes, with SECONDS to spare, i made my big deadline!! i was racing to finish up the 300 page workbook I have been working on for the last 3 months. It was due to the printer today and i had to overnight it last night. I barely made it to fedex by the 7pm dropoff time. whew! (i was burning the dvd in the car on my way there and the fedex man was already there collecting boxes when i walked in the door. i don't like cutting things that close...but that is just the nature of the industry i'm in.

and today...travis is still in detroit and i'm in charge of packing up the last of the stuff....my office stuff, the kitchen stuff we have been using...

and if there is time, i hope to go to the MOA and go to H&M one last time : )

the concise update...

here's an overall update of what we are up to, the abbreviated version, in case you don't want to read through my babble...

the move:
we start loading the truck at 10 am saturday. (it looks like we'll have a good group to help...all are invited, so if you are just dying to help us, please come) we hope to start the drive that afternoon or evening. we are aiming to arrive in portland and unload the truck on monday.

travis' training at horizon:
travis will be in training for a month in portland starting feb 16...which means i get to see him every night! after that, he'll have two weeks of training in the simulator in seattle...then off to denver to start work. (he'll be commuting there for a few months)

unpacking:
we found an apartment close to the airport and kobie gets to unpack all the boxes that travis packed up (and hopefully kobie won't be cursing under her breath at how travis packed them up!)

and working:
i'll continue to do graphic design, mainly for my clients in phoenix. (what a blessing to not have to look for a new job, but be able to start work right when i get there...i think that is a blessing, at least!)

and house hunting:
we will begin the search for a house in portland or surrounding area. we are very ready to settle in somewhere and are very excited about our first house!! we hope to find something in the next 6 months.

porch article

well, trav and i made the local paper just before we are leaving minneapolis.

there is an article in the star tribune about the porch. very cool. and because they gathered around us and prayed for us, we have a little pic in there....how sweet! : )

the in-between

i think i'm part introverted and part extroverted. i love people and that gives me energy, but i also like time by myself. travis is finishing his last trip in detroit and i'm finishing up my work here....and when i have the house to myself, i put on my mellow music and go into deep mode. and i really enjoy it. (don't get me wrong. i love it when travis is home, but i have learned to enjoy this weird schedule.) this time alone gives me time to be creative, time to sort through my thoughts...my mind never stops (and usually i'm thinking about 10 things at once)...i'll be working at my computer, listening to great music, and thinking deep thoughts. the combination of the three work great for me. right now my project is at the point of mere production. it doesn't need any creative thoughts, so that means my mind can be somewhere else.

and right now, today, i feel like i'm in a world between worlds...between the world of minneapolis where i have made my home and the world we will come to know in portland...brimming with possibility and hope. the possibility of new friendships, new things to learn, new places to explore, ways to grow and be stretched.

i think i'm pretty excited about this move. i am praying that God is going before us and making the rough places smooth. that he has couples for us to get to know, that he has a church community for us. that portland will be an inspiring place for the artist in me and an adventure for the orange in me. i pray that it will be a place that travis and i will call home.

it's not called adobe!!

in the midst of the packing and preparing for the move, i have been working nonstop on a big project. It has been such a fun project and I feel like it has been such a creative outlet for me. There are times I just love designing!

In my industry i use a lot of adobe products...adobe illustrator, indesign, photoshop, and acrobat...i think most people come in to contact with pdfs everyday day...made from acrobat, oh, but that is not what you hear it being called...nope. people like to calll it adobe...they ask me if i will give it to them in "adobe." or do you have adobe? ...and i want to say "do you have microsoft?" because that is what they are saying to me. adobe what? it just makes me laugh. so, for those of you who call it adobe, stop. call it acrobat, call the file a pdf, but don't call it adobe! : )

okay, back to working...

boxes and military haircuts

yesterday was a glorious day. I stayed up until 8 am monday morning working on a project that was due that morning, slept a few hours (this isn't the glorious part) and then lauren and i got to play for the afternoon...it was wonderful. I'll miss my dear friend. and then we went to her house for a going away party. good conversations, good pizza, and good wine. i left smiling and thankful for my time in minnapolis. i should have taken some pictures at the party...i always seem to forget.

well, we don't have too much left to do before the big move on saturday. travis has been hard at work packing. (and today he got a haircut...i guess they thought he would look good with a military haircut. i've been saluting him all day!)

energy restored

tonight I was filled with encouragement, blessings and given the energy i need to move on. i'm not talking about the physical energy it takes to pack up our stuff, drive the 1800 miles, and unpack in a new place. i'm talking about the meeting-new-people-energy, the-finding-my-way-in-a-new-place-energy, the-i-don't-know-anyone-but-i'm-determined-to-make-it-anyway-energy.

it took a lot of that kind of energy when i moved to minneapolis. it took everything i had to go to those community dinners at the porch and be the new person. but it was worth it. people at solomon's porch welcomed me with open arms. they became my family and they were what made the last 8 months such a great experience. I feel a part of them...even those i didn't get to know very well, i still feel connected to them.

and it is because of tonight, because of our community, that somehow i feel i have enough energy to move to a new place. it is because of them that i feel that once again i can pursue new relationships, i can be part of a new community.

tonight was the first night in our new space at the porch and my last night at the gatherings. the new place is beautiful. it feels like home...and tonight the community gathered around travis and i and prayed for us. and during the blessing and communion people encouraged us. and although it is very sad to leave such a great place. I feel like that energy, those blessings are going with us. i feel encouraged. i feel renewed.

thank you to all of you at the porch that have made travis and i feel so welcome. thank you for your love and support. i can't tell you how much i appreciate it and how much i will miss you guys!

preparing for the big move

I just got back from phoenix where it was 80 degrees and a little hot to winter (at least winter to me) here in minneapolis. I have loved the snow and am very glad I didn't have to experience the -14 degree weather I kept hearing about. I'm proud to say I was part of the second warmest winter since 1890! I'll miss this place.

It looks like we will be packing up and starting the drive next saturday, feb 11! I'm starting to get excited! Travis has almost everything packed up...he has quite a packing strategy...i'm impressed!! i'm trying to work and meet some deadlines before we move! I'm so thankful that I am able to take my work with me and that I won't have to look for a job when we get to portland.

I'm not looking forward to the drive. Travis will be driving the u-haul (although it is really a penske...there's marketing for you) and he'll be pulling my car. I'll be driving his truck behind him. I wish I was just riding. I ride much better than I drive! But we'll make it.

We are hoping to get a few hours behind us on the 11th, do most of the driving on the 12th, and then finish up the last leg on monday, the 13th and unload. whew!

mission accomplished, i think

well, we have an apartment to move into! we just found a temporary place so we can start looking for a house. there were a lot of cool areas to live in, but we had a hard time finding the right fit. (i think we were being a little too picky...we just had to many things we were looking for...cool location, character, amentities, a 2-bedroom with a decent price, short-term lease, not too run down...and trying to find it in a weekend.) so we got something close to the airport, a two bedroom with a dishwasher and w/d. I have to admit i'm getting a little sick of doing the dishes. I've just been spoiled my whole life. But I have to say i'm a little disapointed not to be close to downtown. We are about a 15 minute drive. I'll just have to go there often. we are across the river in vancouver, washington. the area we are in has no character, but it is close to a trader joes (at least) and i'll have a second room for my office. I'll be riding the light rail into the city a lot, i think.

i really like portland and i felt like i was able to see a lot of the cool areas while i was here. and it won't be long until i'll be here exploring even more!

now i'm on my way to phoenix for a few business meetings and hoping to catch up with some friends. my head is spinning!

the search begins...

well, i'm in portland right now trying to find an apartment for our move in just a few short weeks. trav's meeting me here tomorrow and we hope to find something by the end of the weekend. I'm excited to have a place and make this whole move thing a bit more real. (although you would think reserving a truck, packing up boxes, and flying to portland would be real enough.)

this would be a good time to give my first impressions of portland. it is a great city and there are so many places that i am cna't wait to explore...but i'm too tired to think about descriptive words right now, so i'll just have to say more later.

minneapolis

It was almost this time last year that we thought we could be moving to minneapolis and i was so excited. I really prayed that this was the city we would end up in. and i have absolutely loved it. i love the city and i love the people. it has been incredible being a part of the porch community. i feel like i can learn so much from each person i get to know. i feel like my life is richer and deeper because of each friendship. and it makes me incredibly sad to be moving away. i felt like i was just beginning to settle here, just beginning to get to know people pretty well, just beginning to experience the city and now we will be moving. but i'm glad i was able to be here for the last 8 months. i wouldn't have changed it. i feel like i've grown as a person, i've been exposed to new ideas and thoughts, i've been shaped by the passions of others. it has been a good time for me to relax and hang out and feel inspired. and with travis being away a lot, it has been the community around me that has kept me sane.

so, although i'm very excited about a new place to settle in, i'm filled with sadness at what we are leaving here. i'm going to miss my friends, i'm going to miss my community.

travis has started packing up our stuff. he was able to sit reserve in minneapolis and hasn't been called yet (keep your fingers crossed) so, he is packing before he has to go back to work. and i'm trying to finish up the big design projects i'm working on. i was feeling a little stressed last night, but feeling a little better this morning. i have to take each day at a time. it looks like we might be packing up the truck to make the long drive on february 11 and we'll go look at apartments over the weekend of jan 28.

usually i'm pretty excited about moving. it is an adventure, it is a challenge, and you get to start with a fresh palette. but this time, it just seems like a hassle. it isn't a convenient time, and i don't really want to be the "new person" again. don't get me wrong, i really am excited. but i'm processing through a lot, as i had hoped that minneapolis would be our home for a while and now we will be making our home somewhere else.

once i get to portland it will be fun...finding the unique things that make the city what it is, shoping at trader joe's again, decorating a new apartment (although i would like to be painting the walls of a new house soon!! ; ) and i won't think about meeting new people just yet, that is a little overwhelming! but there are other things that i'm excited about...i'm excited about the rain, i'm excited about the weather, and i'm excited about a possible apartment with a dishwasher and washer and dryer!

a little more info

so, travis will be furloughed from mesaba feb 15 and starting at horizon on feb 16! What amazing timing! We are so thankful for this new job opportunity and that travis will continue his piloting, which he is absolutely loving. Sometimes I wonder where God is in things and then things like this happen and i wonder why i doubt!

It looks like we will be moving to portland! travis will actually be based in denver for about 9 months and then portland after that. So, we decided just to go ahead and move to portland so we don't have to move again this year! We are looking into moving before he starts his training...which means a quick move over the next month. crazy. we are hoping to visit portland soon to look for an apartment.

the moment we've all been waiting for...

we just found out that travis got a job at Horizon.....wahooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the plane he will be flying, a CRJ 700.

we will be moving to denver or portland. (it will be exciting, but i'm very sad to leave minneapolis)

travis will start training on feb 16

i'll post more later...now we have to celebrate!

telling a story

i hung out with a few people over at bob and lauren's last night...and at one point we were talking about Bob's "previous" life as a DJ...and he said something that i really liked:

"a good artist knows how to tell a story so that others can understand it, so that others can relate to it."

and this is simple, but profound. taking whatever medium and telling a story with it. there are a lot of artists out there that tell a story that no one can relate with and they get upset because no one can identify with it. (i'm paraphrasing the great words of bob brown) And then there are artist who are still being genuine, still producing art that is real and raw, but they tell it in a way that people can find meaning in it, can understand it.

i think this is a great way to look at artist...instead of criticizing someone's painting on whether you think it is "good art" or even art at all, you look at it and ask what story they are trying to tell and look for meaning in that story. it makes you look at things in a different light. it makes you appreciate different styles and forms of art that you normally wouldn't stop and listen to.

a book i just picked up

here's a book i'm in the middle of and it is very powerful. i read the original ragamuffin gospel several years ago and loved it...now they have come out with a "visual edition"...very cool...i think art mixed with words has a way to move you far more than words alone.

dichotomy

is it possible to feel anxious and nervous, but deep down still maintain a sense of peace and hope? well, that is how i'm feeling right now. the dichotomy of anxiety and peace are filling within me...anxious about the current happenings, but filled with hope about life in general...

the waiting continues

no news on trav's job, yet. soon and very soon...this is testing my patience!!

and i have a cold. not just a little sniffle...one of the colds where you feel you are going to sneeze at any given moment...and when you do, you blow snot everywhere...yes, that kind. but i slept 12 hours last night and am feeling a little better...

i'm full of anxiety and feel like i can't get anything done, but i managed to have a glorious day yesterday. my new digital camera came in the mail, i got a new haircut (not that new, it was just a trim...i'm still trying to grow my hair out....this is the longest it has been in 8 years!!) and my new boots were delivered in the mail...and i spent most of the day IMing with my friend cate...what a day...it is the simple pleasures in life!

and then, all of sudden, i have a ton of work to do. It always comes in like a flood. i have a little break where I can go play and then i'm drowning in design work...so, i guess i'll have to go back to being my productive self...

lord of the rings

last monday, a group went to see the trilogy, Lord of the Rings...an 11 hour spectacular on the big screen. I was excited about it, a little nervous that I wouldn't make it through that much movie time...but oh, was i wrong. It was such an amazing experience. you may laugh, but it was absolutely wonderful. the crowd went wild at all the great parts. (it was better than any sporting event...but that doesn't say much with my distaste for sports) it was great to see all three movies together. I was smiling as I left the theatre at 10:30 that night.

a month of superbness

this past month has been absolutely wonderful. i feel inspired, full of joy, and full of hope. and although i have noooooo idea what 2006 will bring for travis and i, i am able to enjoy this moment. this month i decorated our apartment for christmas, played in the snow, learned to snow board (thanks to the pagitt kids), went iceskating, enjoyed a local hip-hop concert (which was very fun!) made christmas cards, went to oklahoma where it was 60 degrees, and worked way too much.

i have learned to have hope, not in things, but in God. and that sounds very cliche', but it is true. i think for so long i would hope in what God would give me or how he would bless me. but i have been learning over the last few months what hope looks like. the hope that is in the psalms...find rest, o my soul, in God alone, my hope comes from him.

and i have all of this creativity stirring inside me...i am about to burst.

walkin' in a winter wonderland

have yourself a merry little christmas

i have been listening to christmas music nonstop...i just love it...i like the old classics.
and here is one that makes me smile everytime i hear it

and here is the station that i have been listening to online...

wahooo! i love christmas!

...It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
It came without packages boxes, or bags!
And he puzzled and puzzled, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more."
...And then the true meaning of Christmas came through,
And the Grinch found the strength of ten Grinches… plus two.
...He brought everything back, all the food for the feast.
And he, he himself, the Grinch, carved the roast beast.

it will just get colder!

It's 7 degrees out! brrrr!!!

a walk to the walker

even though it was freezing out (actually 20 degrees) we decided to walk down to the walker's sculpture garden....isn't the snow amazing! i love it! (although the walk was a little cold!)

winter & planes

Here are some pictures of trav's plane before the de-icing in ottawa, canada. It took an hour to get it off!

welcome to minnesota

this week

Life is good.


No news on what is going to happen with trav’s job (other than he will still be furloughed in February…yep a 100% pay cut for good ol’ trav) so nothing new in that department…but somehow I am maintaining a positive outlook…here’s what I’ve been up to…

I spent this past week celebrating thanksgiving with trav’s family, which I always enjoy. And I managed to get everyone to take the enneagram test and discuss personality types for a while, along with countless other great topics…(I love my in-laws and I love having a job I can take with me wherever I go)

I’m on my way to see my family in Oklahoma for a last minute trip for the weekend. (why not, I say?) and I might be able to see my brother and sister-in-law, too!

I finally finished my logo and business cards for substance creative. (my design business, if you can call a one woman shop a business) and I’m in the process of working on my website and other “collateral”…hopefully I can finish soon.

I am VERY excited about the Christmas season in a climate that actually FEELS like Christmas…and I think I’ll be buying a tree for the first time…so it will be fun to decorate our apartment for Christmas!

church & buck the truck

i'm still in the middle of Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott and i just finished the chapter about taking her little boy to church. i started thinking about my childhood experiences at church...at least when i was around 4...here is what came to mind

i hated the song Jesus loves me because i thought it was childish!

my mom would roll my hair in the pink sponge rollers on saturday night so my hair would be curly in the morning and i loved it!

my dad would fix a big breakfast every sunday morning with eggs and bacon and biscuits, but i never ate the biscuits

i would get lifesavers to suck on during "big church" to keep me quiet and still

my mom wouldn't let me bring my doll into church because she thought i would play with it. but really i just wanted my doll to experience "big church"

i would always go by and say hi to my old sunday school teacher, Mrs. Tucker. wow, what an amazing lady.

and of course being 4 reminds me of my dear old friend Buck the Truck...I'm sure many of you who know me have heard this story...but for those who haven't, here it is.

My dad had an old green truck when i was little and we called him Buck the truck. my dad let me play in his truck bed and pretend drive him. so i used buck like my playhouse...and we were buds. but one day i thought that buck needed fuel. so, i looked around to find what i could use as "gas". I found a bunch of rocks. so, i put as many rocks as i could find in his tank...buck didn't drive as well after that. my dad took him to a mechanic to find out what was wrong with him...the mechanic finally figured out that there were rocks in his gas tank. my dad didn't have to wonder how they got there.

hope remains...and it is finally november!

well, it looks like travis will be furloughed, we just don't know when. should he wait it out or find another job? who knows. things are pretty uncertain and we have no idea what the future holds. we hope to stay in minneapolis, but we don't know at this point.

but somehow in the midst of all this uncertainty, hope remains. not hope that things will get better or hope that we will stay in minneapolis. but a hope that we will get through this. that circumstances aren't everything. but i have to say my attitude sucked for a while. and it took me a while to get to the point that i could say this.

i'm in the middle of reading anne lamott's traveling mercies. she talks about grief and even though i don't think this is really "grieve" that i'm dealing with, i feel like i can look at this situation in the same light...

"...don't get me wrong; grief sucks; it really does. Unfortunately, though, avoiding it robs us of life, of the now, of a sense of living spirit. Mostly i have tried to avoid it by staying very busy, working too hard, trying to achieve as much as possible...But the bad news is that whatever you use to keep the pain at bay robs you of the flecks and nuggets of gold that feeling grief will give you. A fixation can keep you nicely defined and give you the illustion that your life has not fallen apart. But since your life may indeed have fallen apart, the illustion won't holdd up forever, and if you are lucky and brave, you will be willing to bear disillusion..."

i guess i feel that i have embraced where travis and i are at. i'm not going to deny it and pretend that everything is just fine and that everything will be just peachy. but at the same time, I'm not going to let this situation rob me of the present. i have done that way too many times in my life.

right now, i'm surrounded by a great group of people. i'm in a great city. and i'm going to enjoy that as long as i can. i have to say that the people of solomon's porch have been life to me. i love that community. and when i walk into church on sunday, i feel peace and it soothes my soul. but it is so much more than that, it is the relationships, the unique people that i meet and am getting to know. and i'm very thankful!

shooting stars

i love the stars...and i love watching meteor showers. i could lay outside and watch them all night. well, travis experienced a meteor shower, WHILE HE WAS FLYING LAST NIGHT!! He had a front row seat to one of nature's most brilliant performances...he said he has never seen them so bright. I'm so jealous!

is it november yet?

last night our apartment was broken into. i received a call from our apartment's caretaker as i was posting last night's blog. seems a little ironic...i'm writing about being positive and something else happens to bring me down.

i'll be ready for this month to be over...

grandpa george

God used my grandpa to speak life into me. I'm in oklahoma visiting my family and i went out to see my grandpa at "golden oaks", the assisted living he lives at.

he had no idea that i was feeling so hopeless. not knowing it, his words were life to me.

I'll try to explain what happened, but i can't seem to put words to what happened...

my grandpa made furniture and we were talking about that...I asked him if it was really hard when he had his stroke and he wasn't able to do what he loved anymore.

tears filled his eyes and he told me that he hadn't been retired very long and he had his workshop all fixed up...and then he had a stroke and his hobby was gone.

his response to me is something i have heard many times before. but what he said came from experience and was filled with such emotion and passion. he said..."i learned quickly that i couldn't look at the stuff i couldn't do, but i had to look at the stuff i could do. if i just look at the negative, i'm not going to enjoy it very much." i roll my eyes when i hear my mom say that i need to just look at the positive and not dwell on the negative. but i have to admit it is true. because me dwelling on the bad is not going to make the bad go away...and i'm not going to enjoy it very much. i was fighting back tears, because i knew that it was so true and something that i needed to hear at that moment.

i had the best time with my grandpa today. he is one of the funniest guys i know. he is so ornery...he says it "breaks up the monotony". and through that he brought life to the old folks and he brought life to me.

the last few weeks...

wow. the last few weeks have been hard. and i haven't really wanted to share my negativity on my blog...but as heather told me, it is my blog and i guess i can write how i'm feeling and what i'm going through. but it seems like when bad things happen to you, people don't know how to respond. they try to make it better by teling you it will be okay, that it will work out. they just can't handle the negative or maybe they just really are that optimistic. if anything makes me want to punch somebody in the face, it is hearing the words "it will all work out". why? because there are plenty of things in my life that just haven't worked out. i don't think that everything works out. i think that you (or God, rather) can pull good things from the bad...but that isn't exactly "working out". life isn't all sunshine and flowers...and i'm okay with that. i'm not going to pretend that it is. although i would take sunshine and flowers right now in my life, but that is just not how it is "working out" right now, unfortunately. i was hopeful and life has a way of crashing that hope and spitting on it.

okay, okay, i'll stop with the negatively. there are good things happening...

this weekend was beautiful and I managed to get out and enjoy it. it is amazing what a little sunshine can do..one of the days by the lake, i listened to a guy compose music. he had the coolest voice and rhythm...not sure what to call it, but i appreciated it. i'm curious if he plays anywhere locally...i didn't go and ask him.

travis and i had a great time while he was home, although we couldn't ride bikes like we usually do, because mine was stolen last week...but we found other ways to enjoy the weather. and last night we went to paliminos downtown to celebrate my birthday. i'll be 27 this week. i've always had a thing for 27 so, i'm very excited for this 27th year of my life. I want to go places i've never gone, experience new things, set some goals...i wish i was going into this new year with a little more in place, but i guess i'll just have to make the most of what i have and enjoy it...

pictures from labor day

here are pictures from my labor day trip at the lake. i had so much fun with my college friends...i'll be able to see some of them again at oklahoma state's homecoming at the end of october!

bankruptcy smankruptcy

i have been reading way too many articles on the airlines lately...here's the latest...

article on mesaba

being present

well, it seems that things have changed drastically in the last few weeks. not too long ago travis and i were actively looking for a house here in minneapolis and now we are just hoping we will be able to stay here. the uncertainty of travis' job right now makes me feel very unsettled. unfortunately, it seems to effect my entire world and my perspective on everything. i'm just ready to feel settled somewhere (and i would like for it to be minneapolis!). i have had to be content with everything up in the air for too long and i just don't want to deal with it anymore. but maybe that is just life, maybe things will always be up in the air. maybe i need to stop trying to plan everything and enjoy where i am at, no matter what comes next. it seems to be the lesson i'm learning in life over and over again. it just doesn't seem to stick.

there is a quote by richard foster that says,
"God wants us to be present where we are. he invites us to see and to hear what is around us and, through it all, to discern the footprints of the holy."

42 degrees

well, it is 42 degrees outside...colder than the "winter" ever is in phoenix. i love cold weather (i realize this really isn't cold, but it feels great!) but from the stories i hear, i'm not sure i'm tough enough for minneapolis weather. i'm just excited to have hot tea, i'm excited to actually be able to wear layers. I'm excited about coats. (I just bought two today!) and hats and boots...but i know there will be a lot of bitching coming from my mouth this first winter. complaining about my snot freezing and my nuckles cracking because they are so dry...but hopefully i can find good in it, too! talk to me in january and see what i say, or march or april.

weekend retreat

this past weekend travis and i went on a retreat with our church. i never seem to get enough pictures, but here are a few. (isn't travis' expression great!) it was a really fun weekend and i'm glad we were able to go.