wow. the last few weeks have been hard. and i haven't really wanted to share my negativity on my blog...but as heather told me, it is my blog and i guess i can write how i'm feeling and what i'm going through. but it seems like when bad things happen to you, people don't know how to respond. they try to make it better by teling you it will be okay, that it will work out. they just can't handle the negative or maybe they just really are that optimistic. if anything makes me want to punch somebody in the face, it is hearing the words "it will all work out". why? because there are plenty of things in my life that just haven't worked out. i don't think that everything works out. i think that you (or God, rather) can pull good things from the bad...but that isn't exactly "working out". life isn't all sunshine and flowers...and i'm okay with that. i'm not going to pretend that it is. although i would take sunshine and flowers right now in my life, but that is just not how it is "working out" right now, unfortunately. i was hopeful and life has a way of crashing that hope and spitting on it.
okay, okay, i'll stop with the negatively. there are good things happening...
this weekend was beautiful and I managed to get out and enjoy it. it is amazing what a little sunshine can do..one of the days by the lake, i listened to a guy compose music. he had the coolest voice and rhythm...not sure what to call it, but i appreciated it. i'm curious if he plays anywhere locally...i didn't go and ask him.
travis and i had a great time while he was home, although we couldn't ride bikes like we usually do, because mine was stolen last week...but we found other ways to enjoy the weather. and last night we went to paliminos downtown to celebrate my birthday. i'll be 27 this week. i've always had a thing for 27 so, i'm very excited for this 27th year of my life. I want to go places i've never gone, experience new things, set some goals...i wish i was going into this new year with a little more in place, but i guess i'll just have to make the most of what i have and enjoy it...
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If you want to get a used bike to replace the stolen one, try the bikes section on Craigslist or let me know and I can get you in touch with a guy I work with who has a garage full of them.
Your blog reminded me of a friend's song: "Things (we don't say sand makes castles)". He's got all these wonderfully bizarre narratives and reflections that take the difficulty of life seriously while (somehow) affirming a deep sense of hopefulness.
Jon Felton and His Soulmobile
http://www.isidorerecords.com/distro.php?index=7
Not to add to the negativity, but if you just turned 27 then this is the 28th year of your life. Hope it's good anyway!
that's right, it is the 28th year...well, there isn't pressure to make it a good one!
So,is it hard to believe in a general "all working out" or is "working out" something you have to see? Like, I know everything doesn't work out immediately, and some working out could take years, so is it something you don't believe exists (all working out) or is it just something you loathe to hear when you don't see it happening? I was listening to a song by someone that says "I can't remember a trial or a pain He did not recycle to bring me gain." Of course, then I look at the times in my life (like the two years it took to get over someone who smashed my feelings and trust into oblivion) at the time, I don't see it, but looking back at it, I see the *all working out*... So I was just wondering if you hate it on principal, but relish it in reality, or if it is something you just don't see as being accurate.
i guess, for me,when i hear the words "it will all work out", i feel like it is an overgeneralization. I feel like we are trying to simplify life in a way that it just can't be simplified. there are things in life that just suck, things that don't seem like they could ever get better. and when someone comes by and gives you a generic "it will all work out" i feel like it is denying the pain of the situation and the messiness that comes along with it. i do feel that God uses that bad to produce good, but i don't feel like that is "working out". i know that i personally just have a hang up with the term because i feel like people are trying to make christianity or life so neat and pretty. if that makes sense at all. to say all that, i really have issues with the terminology...but in part in the theology behind it.
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