shooting stars

i love the stars...and i love watching meteor showers. i could lay outside and watch them all night. well, travis experienced a meteor shower, WHILE HE WAS FLYING LAST NIGHT!! He had a front row seat to one of nature's most brilliant performances...he said he has never seen them so bright. I'm so jealous!

is it november yet?

last night our apartment was broken into. i received a call from our apartment's caretaker as i was posting last night's blog. seems a little ironic...i'm writing about being positive and something else happens to bring me down.

i'll be ready for this month to be over...

grandpa george

God used my grandpa to speak life into me. I'm in oklahoma visiting my family and i went out to see my grandpa at "golden oaks", the assisted living he lives at.

he had no idea that i was feeling so hopeless. not knowing it, his words were life to me.

I'll try to explain what happened, but i can't seem to put words to what happened...

my grandpa made furniture and we were talking about that...I asked him if it was really hard when he had his stroke and he wasn't able to do what he loved anymore.

tears filled his eyes and he told me that he hadn't been retired very long and he had his workshop all fixed up...and then he had a stroke and his hobby was gone.

his response to me is something i have heard many times before. but what he said came from experience and was filled with such emotion and passion. he said..."i learned quickly that i couldn't look at the stuff i couldn't do, but i had to look at the stuff i could do. if i just look at the negative, i'm not going to enjoy it very much." i roll my eyes when i hear my mom say that i need to just look at the positive and not dwell on the negative. but i have to admit it is true. because me dwelling on the bad is not going to make the bad go away...and i'm not going to enjoy it very much. i was fighting back tears, because i knew that it was so true and something that i needed to hear at that moment.

i had the best time with my grandpa today. he is one of the funniest guys i know. he is so ornery...he says it "breaks up the monotony". and through that he brought life to the old folks and he brought life to me.

the last few weeks...

wow. the last few weeks have been hard. and i haven't really wanted to share my negativity on my blog...but as heather told me, it is my blog and i guess i can write how i'm feeling and what i'm going through. but it seems like when bad things happen to you, people don't know how to respond. they try to make it better by teling you it will be okay, that it will work out. they just can't handle the negative or maybe they just really are that optimistic. if anything makes me want to punch somebody in the face, it is hearing the words "it will all work out". why? because there are plenty of things in my life that just haven't worked out. i don't think that everything works out. i think that you (or God, rather) can pull good things from the bad...but that isn't exactly "working out". life isn't all sunshine and flowers...and i'm okay with that. i'm not going to pretend that it is. although i would take sunshine and flowers right now in my life, but that is just not how it is "working out" right now, unfortunately. i was hopeful and life has a way of crashing that hope and spitting on it.

okay, okay, i'll stop with the negatively. there are good things happening...

this weekend was beautiful and I managed to get out and enjoy it. it is amazing what a little sunshine can do..one of the days by the lake, i listened to a guy compose music. he had the coolest voice and rhythm...not sure what to call it, but i appreciated it. i'm curious if he plays anywhere locally...i didn't go and ask him.

travis and i had a great time while he was home, although we couldn't ride bikes like we usually do, because mine was stolen last week...but we found other ways to enjoy the weather. and last night we went to paliminos downtown to celebrate my birthday. i'll be 27 this week. i've always had a thing for 27 so, i'm very excited for this 27th year of my life. I want to go places i've never gone, experience new things, set some goals...i wish i was going into this new year with a little more in place, but i guess i'll just have to make the most of what i have and enjoy it...

pictures from labor day

here are pictures from my labor day trip at the lake. i had so much fun with my college friends...i'll be able to see some of them again at oklahoma state's homecoming at the end of october!

bankruptcy smankruptcy

i have been reading way too many articles on the airlines lately...here's the latest...

article on mesaba

being present

well, it seems that things have changed drastically in the last few weeks. not too long ago travis and i were actively looking for a house here in minneapolis and now we are just hoping we will be able to stay here. the uncertainty of travis' job right now makes me feel very unsettled. unfortunately, it seems to effect my entire world and my perspective on everything. i'm just ready to feel settled somewhere (and i would like for it to be minneapolis!). i have had to be content with everything up in the air for too long and i just don't want to deal with it anymore. but maybe that is just life, maybe things will always be up in the air. maybe i need to stop trying to plan everything and enjoy where i am at, no matter what comes next. it seems to be the lesson i'm learning in life over and over again. it just doesn't seem to stick.

there is a quote by richard foster that says,
"God wants us to be present where we are. he invites us to see and to hear what is around us and, through it all, to discern the footprints of the holy."

42 degrees

well, it is 42 degrees outside...colder than the "winter" ever is in phoenix. i love cold weather (i realize this really isn't cold, but it feels great!) but from the stories i hear, i'm not sure i'm tough enough for minneapolis weather. i'm just excited to have hot tea, i'm excited to actually be able to wear layers. I'm excited about coats. (I just bought two today!) and hats and boots...but i know there will be a lot of bitching coming from my mouth this first winter. complaining about my snot freezing and my nuckles cracking because they are so dry...but hopefully i can find good in it, too! talk to me in january and see what i say, or march or april.

weekend retreat

this past weekend travis and i went on a retreat with our church. i never seem to get enough pictures, but here are a few. (isn't travis' expression great!) it was a really fun weekend and i'm glad we were able to go.