the month of august

right now i'm sitting on my friends' couch in phoenix. it feels good to be in a place of familiarity, i have to admit. it is good to be back. i've only been gone 2 months. in some sense it seems so much longer and it other ways it feels like i still live here.

i'm leaving to go on a camping trip with my old church tomorrow. we'll be in northeast arizona. i'm very excited. there is nothing better than sitting around a campfire having good conversations with friends, staying up late, smoking cigars, and just hanging out.

this month has been a little crazy. i've been in virginia (for my brother-in-law's wedding), north carolina (to visit family), arkansas (to visit my best friend from college), oklahoma (for my grandmother's funeral), and now arizona (for a work meeting and camping). that is just crazy. everything has been fun, except the funeral and i'm glad that i am able to travel so much. my new ibook has already been put to good use. i've been working and traveling. it will be good to be back to our little apartment in minneapolis next week.

but i'm stilling thinking a lot about my grandmother. she has suffered from alzheimers for the last 10 years or so...and the last few years she has gone down hill fast. in one way you'd think that her death would be a blessing, that she isn't stuck in that lifeless body anymore. but it was much harder than i imagined. i grieved that i wasn't able to know the amazing lady for the last 10 years, i grieved for my grandpa, who was married to her for 69 years, i grieved because i love her so much and death seems so final. my brother spoke at the funeral and i loved what he had to say. i feel like there is so much i can learn from emma....especially that she laughed and smiled a lot, even through her disease.