choosing joy

i'm a doubter. a pessimist. a realist. a "should've been" thinker. i question everything. i'm indecisive. a worrier. full of anxiety.
full of fear that leaves me idol and not moving forward. wallowing in my own self-pity. a perfectionist in a strange sort of way.

but deep down, there's a dreamer, a hopeless romantic. a cheesy lover of life. an idealist. a making the most of the opportunity, carpe diem kinda' person.

and i teeter toter between the two. the two seem to wrestle and fight for my thoughts.

but recently, more and more, i've wanted to be the "izzy" instead of the "christina" (in grey's anatomy terms, that is) i would rather see things as they should be, rather than how they are.

i would rather be easy pleased, easily entertained, easily satisfied. not picky,stoppnit-picking...and just enjoy. it seems like life is so much better that way. the perfectionist in me is sliding and the lover of life is taking over.

national corduroy day!

that's right! 11/11...the date that most resembles corduroy!! so wear it proud!

the corduroyclub
blog on corduroy appreciation

lovely rain

it's been raining harder the usual lately and i love the sound of the rain hitting my office window with mellow music in the background...the perfect work environment. and i have snuck outside for a walk when i saw the sun peeping behind the clouds now and then. i've been getting up earlier lately with the time change and i love it. i just love mornings. i'm starting to have a rhythm of life...a little more schedule of things. and i'm actually not working past 5, which is so wonderful. working during normal hours?!? who would have thought that was possible with freelance. (and of course i'm sneaking any traveling i can.)

back into blogging

where have i been? i realized how long it has been since i blogged!! i need to make up for lost time...

what have i been up to lately? well, last weekend i went to the wonderful city of minneapolis. i stayed with my bud lauren and we had a grand time. it was so good to see friends at the porch and go to the gathering on sunday night. i miss church on sunday night, i have to admit. our church here meets on sunday morning and i'm still trying to get use to it, (after 4 years of sleeping in, it still makes it hard to do the church thing in the morning.) and over the last month or so, i feel like we are meeting more people at evergreen. i just love the community, it is full of great people. i've especially enjoyed getting to know more of the girls (i mean women). with the great party that linda threw and the weekly shin-dig on thursday nights...i'm starting to feel a little more settled in more and more.

fall is beautiful and it seems to last longer here. there are still reds, oranges and golds everywhere. i love the leaves all over the ground and the colors all over the hilly land! it is great going over the bridges towards downtown and seeing the colors all of the over the hills!

we enjoyed the last bit of sunshine before the rain hit...with bike rides and days downtown and by the river after church. and now the rain is here! i love the feeling of rainy days, they make me happy. it makes me feel all cozy in our little house. i actually cooked a delicious soup yesterday. (i have a hard time using recipes, they are just too much preparation for me.) but i finally did it, yippppeee! maybe this will be the beginning of something very good for kobie.

oh, and over the last month i turned 28. i was a little sad to let 27 go...i don't mind getting older, but i have a thing for the number 27 and i was hoping that 27 would be the year that great things would happen. and looking back 27 was a very exciting year...a great experience in minneapolis where i learned to enjoy the present moment,even though the future was unknown...travis getting a new job the day after he was furloughed...moving across the country to the land of green bliss...living in 3 states (minnesota, a short stay in WA and now oregon)...buying a house and settling in to a place we hope to call home for a long time. so i can hardly call being 27 a disapointment. I woke up on my 28 birthday with an excitement for the year ahead. i started reading one of my favorite books (see previous posts) about enjoying where you are at. and i look with excitement on this year.